It’s the longest night.
It’s a night that accentuates the loneliness I feel.
Bitterness and sadness share my (otherwise) empty room.
Forgiveness and happiness
can be heard knocking at my double-locked door.
I would welcome their company
but my faith is too weak to let them in.
I am paralyzed by the emotional parasites
that have devoured my peace of mind.

A candle in the corner flickers.
I catch a glimpse of the darting flame.
Starved for light,
this miniature blaze is a beam of hope.
But the shadows it casts on the wall
are merely silhouettes that mock my dreams of dawn.

Will this night ever end?
When will the haunting beats of my tired heart subside?
When will my suffocating restless mind begin to breathe again?

O God of the future,
be present with me now as the past casts my life’s drama
with memories that know their lines by heart.

Walk with me through the never-ending hours of this night.
Stand beside me as I surrender my fears, regrets and grief once again.
Sit with me in my sorrow until the morning comes
and the days become increasingly longer 24 hours at a time.

Loving God, remind me of the meaning of Immanuel.
That You are with me.
That You never will forsake me.