Lord, there will be an empty place
at the Christmas table this year
and I’m not able to face it alone.

Please pass a second helping of Your grace.
I can’t seem to get enough of it these days.

The lights on the tree are all ablur
as I look through swollen eyes.
The carols catch in my throat.

Wise men and shepherds,
angels and stars,
Christmas cards, candles and gifts–
They all used to move me.
But this year I’m scarred
by wounds too fresh to heal.

And I’m scared by what I feel–
haunting memories,
good ones,
but regrets, too.
Too many tears.
Too few tissues.
Too many days in December.

And all because the one I love is dead.
And is my heart.
I’m so afraid of what still lies ahead.

Please remind me that Easter,
and all that it promises,
will soon be here.

Dear God, maybe then I can celebrate
the good tidings of Christmas
in spite of this empty chair.