Sleepless in Seattle

Why more and more snorers need surgery

My friend Omar has apnea.
So even when he naps, Mia,
his wife is quick to jab him
so he’ll stir and start to breathe.

Each night he struggles, gags and snores.
It is a war to end all wars.
He battles just to get a breath.
Each morning he’s worn out.

“I’m never rested,” Omar sighs.
“I’m pooped the moment that I rise.
No matter when I go to bed,
I can’t sleep long enough.”

“You’ve got a floppy uvula.
That’s why you’re feeling weak and blah.”
His doctor wants to operate,
but Omar isn’t sure.

“Why don’t I try that nighttime mask?
Won’t that thing work?” my good friend asks.
“Or will it cause my wife to think
that I’m an alien?”

“I think it will,” Doc Jones replied.
“According to MY sleepless bride,
when I put on my C-pap face
she thought I’d come from Mars.”

And so surrend’ring to the knife
my friend submitted to his wife
and in the process helped his heart
and woke a rested man.