Passing the buck for our imperfect bodies

Gene Poole is the cause of all
the things ’bout me I hate:
My hair, my nose, my body shape,
my ears, my height, my weight.

And though I’ve never met Eugene,
I think he’s pretty cruel.
Without my knowledge or consent
he deemed I’d be a Poole.

Although I work out all the time,
I’m blessed with ol’ Gene’s gut.
And just like all my relatives,
I’ve got his ample butt.

He robbed me of my thick black hair
and my unwrinkled skin.
He stole my runner-lean physique
and left a double chin.

It’s Gene who found a way to loot
my body of its looks.
And based on what he stole from me,
I’d call that thief a crook.