Dying for an Upgrade

A first-class flight that was truly out of this world

It was a flight to end all flights.
Full-service all the way.
The upgrade she’d but dreamed about
was offered her that day.

She took off in ECONOMY.
But, oh my gosh. Alas,
before she’d landed on the ground
her seat was in FIRST CLASS.

It seems she got quite cold back there.
The old girl couldn’t breathe.
But she did not complain a bit
and neither did she grieve.

She left that to the baffled few
who looked at her and cried.
The news spread up and down through coach.
Miss 40-D had died.

The flight attendants rushed to help
and moved the lifeless lass.
They found a seat beside a man
asleep up in FIRST CLASS.

When he awoke he thought the gal
a bit aloof and rude.
She didn’t answer when he spoke.
She had an attitude.

But when he saw her turning blue.
He shrieked, “This woman’s dead!”
Unnerved and angry all at once
he face turned crimson red.

“How dare you strap this corpse right here?
It’s not a morgue you know.
I want a refund when we land
at Gatwick or Heathrow.”

He got his refund as he asked.
His face in time would fade.
And, bless her heart, Miss 40-D
was given her upgrade.

The moral of this true-life tale
may seem at first to be
“In time you’ll get what you desire.”
But more importantly.

“The trips you take may seem routine.
You board and then you fly.
But hey, you’d best be right with God.
In flight you just might die.”

This poem is based on a British Air flight from New Delhi to London in which a first-class passenger awoke to find the corpse of a woman who had died in the economy cabin being placed in a seat next to him.