Oprah’s popularity has become a religion;
Sunday Mourning at the Church of St. Relevancy

Goddess Worship
Oprah’s popularity has become a religion.

Her temple is in Harpoville.
Her mantra? Simply “O.”
She’s worshipped as if God-in-flesh.
She thinks she is, you know.

With wealth and power, Oprah reigns
from sea to shining sea.
Her faithful sing her praises
like she is Divinity.

This goddess loves her worshippers.
From her all blessings flow.
She gives to those in desperate need
and those who watch her show.

She’s on TV and radio.
She has a magazine.
Her profits speak a new-age truth.
Here minions have a scheme.

Her book club dictates what we read.
Her O Ambassadors
are missionaries for her cause
Her kingdom’s evermore.

 
 
Sunday Mourning at the Church of St. Relevancy
Grieving the death of two liturgical friends.

Has anyone seen Gloria?
She’s missing from my church.
Miss Patri taught me praise for God.
Please help me in my search.

“Doc” Sology is also gone.
I long to see him back.
I leaned on him when I was young.
He kept my praise on track.

But something changed. The songs got fast.
The Lord’s Prayer went away.
Responsive readings from my past
were loudly drummed away.

My Sunday mornings aren’t the same
since Gloria and “Doc”
were labeled too traditional
and forced to take a walk.

It’s mourning time here in my pew.
Can you relate to me?
I have a hunch my friends have died.
The death of liturgy.