Bert and Ernie are Not Gay!

Attempting to make sense of a senseless claim

Bert and Ernie are not gay.
No matter what some writers say.
They’re best of friends who love striped shirts.
Don’t read between the lines.

For fifty years this Muppet pair
have modeled what it means to care.
Although quite different, they are proof
that opposites attract.

They pave the way on Sesame Street
to show us what is kind and sweet.
And though they sometimes bicker,
these good buddies give and take.

Why must you make them poster kids
for same-sex causes? God forbid!
Don’t rewrite history just to make
these puppets speak for you.