What we can expect from the new top dog at the Vatican
A German Shepherd’s been unleashed
to bark at, nip and fetch the sheep
who find themselves outside the fold
because their doctrine’s b-a-a-a-d.
St. Peter’s pet will growl and whine
at those who think it’s long past time
to let Eve’s daughters be ordained
as backward-collared priests.
This dog will show his teeth at gays
who protest what the Bible says
and lobby for the right to wed
as if that were the norm.
He’ll hunt down those within the flock
whose actions haven’t matched their talk.
Those shepherds who abused their lambs
and then denied their crime.
This papal pooch will pant and yelp
to save the unborn needing help.
He’ll stand for life and sit for hours
refuting those who lie.
His pedigree has been suspect,
because he learned to genuflect
when just a pup in Hitler’s youth
(a group he came to hate).
Will St. Bernards like Benedict?
Will Irish setters give a lick?
Will poodles, huskies, pugs and labs
join him to chase the lost?
That all depends on if his bark
is recognized in fields and parks
by other sheep dogs through the world
who look to him as boss.
This German Shepherd needs our prayers
to undo wrongs and right old errors
and clarify that faith alone
is what links us to God.