What carolers in Seattle are singing this season

I’m dreaming of a dry Christmas.
You can’t believe how wet it’s been.
My poor driveway’s lake-like.
My kids can’t ride bikes.
They’re wearing snorkels, trunks and fins.
I’m dreaming of a dry Christmas.
I don’t want snow just clear blue skies.
Or an ark by Noah would do
til this soggy holiday is through.

I’m dreaming of a dry Christmas.
My feet are webbing like a duck’s.
There are hillsides sliding.
and sidewalks hiding.
My flooded basement really sucks.
I’m dreaming of a dry Christmas.
I saw a salmon cross the street.
May the streams and rivers subside
and the lake that used to be I-5.

I’m dreaming of a dry Christmas.
I’m use to rain but not like this.
For I smell like mildew.
My soaked rug does too.
A wet/dry vac tops my wish list.
I’m dreaming of a dry Christmas.
O Santa please make it come true.
While some long for forecasts of snow,
I am sick and tired of H-2-0.

* the above lyrics can actually be sung to the tune of “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”

A Postscript: A Mall and the Night Visitor

A shopping mall in Omaha is marked by silent nights.
The frenzied joy of seeking gifts has been replaced by fright.
Nebraskans now are asking us “Where is Immanuel?”
O, God-with-us, be now with them in their December hell.

by Greg Asimakoupoulos