Fuming questions about a candidate’s faith

A Mormon in the White House?
What about a right-wing Jew?
Is it kosher for a Catholic
or would that be taboo?

Would a Muslim be permitted
to be President today?
Would a Buddhist or a Hindu?
Or (in short) is there no way?

Is ones faith the major factor?
Should religion help us choose?
Or are values what persuade us
who should win and who should lose?

Holy smoke, these fuming questions
may be toxic. Maybe not.
But there’s one thing we are sure of.
Campaign fires will be hot.

Exposing the holiday bandits of envy and greed

Alas, it’s December when darkness prevails.
But also the wonder of Biblical tales.
A miracle oil. A miracle birth.
A miracle visit of One sent to earth.

A season that’s marked by tall tapers of wax
that light up our world with the truth they unmask.
This season of Christmas and Hanukah too
means candles for Christians and candles for Jews.
Some grace a menorah and some grace a wreath.
The glow from these candles expose cunning thieves
that lurk in the shadows and hide in the weeds.
One thief’s name is Envy. The other is Greed.

These holiday bandits are hungry as sin.
They steal and devour contentment within.
Like vandals they lure us. They’re really quite smart.
They pillage and plunder the peace in our hearts.
They kidnap our reason insisting on new
while what we are using is fine and will do.

They hold our minds hostage to where we want more.
More money. More status. More stuff. So much more.
More big screens. More cell phones. More video games.
So much more technology. It is so lame.

These holiday villains just must be exposed.
Their criminal conduct’s the cause of our woes.
We’re weary. We’re listless. We’re often depressed.
We’re angry. We’re in debt. We’re way over-stressed.

And all the while famines and earthquakes and war
rob helpless young children of life like before.
No shelter. No supper. No sweet dreams at night.
No hope that injustices will be made right.
No parents. No siblings. No laughter. No time.
No chance for survival beyond eight or nine.

No lie. It’s the truth. We are victims you see
of devious Greed and his partner Envy.
They’re ruining Christmas and Hanukah too.
But there’s a solution. Three things we can do.
The first is to thank God for all that we own.
The second’s to care for the needy we’ve known.
The third is to sponsor poor children abroad.
By sharing with orphans, we’re honoring God.

Compassion, World Vision and, yes, World Concern
allow us to reach out to kids who’ve been burned
by random disasters that leveled their lives
reducing their childhood to hunger and sighs.

It’s really amazing. By showing we care,
we’ll lock up those bandits that cause our despair.
We’ll find renewed freedom from unneeded stuff
and even the courage to shout out “Enough!”

Enough of the shopping. Enough of the crowds.
Enough of more diddlies, for crying out loud.
Enough of just buying for family and friends.
Enough of this nonsense. It’s time it all ends.

So as we light candles and ready our homes,
let’s welcome the Presence that comes with shalom.
Let’s listen for what in our hearts we might hear.
In candlelit silence, we find God. He’s here.

Why Stacy Peterson’s husband needs to come clean

That sleazy cop from Bolingbrook
is acting like a guilty crook.
His third wife’s dead.
His fourth is gone.
Who knows where she might be?

I think I know who has a clue.
He answers to the name of Drew.
He knows much more than he lets on.
It’s time he spill the beans.

And then we’ll have a chili feed
and make him pay for all his deeds.
The beans he has to spill would make
a meal for quite a crowd.

If this creep can become a cop,
the way they’re chosen should be stopped.
I want police who love their wives
and search for missing ones.

What makes this holiday my favorite

A feathered beast. A family feast.
Some football and some pie.
Thanksgiving is MY holiday
and here are reasons why.

It is the day I’m free to pray
at church OR City Hall.
The need to show God gratitude
seems natural to all.

My wife’s great food. My brother’s brood.
And time to just relax.
This priceless day is one fine gift
my Uncle Sam can’t tax.

A lazy walk around the block.
A nap when I feel tired.
A game of Scrabble (Skipbo too)
and popcorn by the fire.

Simplicity (it seems to me)
describes this holiday.
No gifts to buy (or to return).
No customs to obey.

This day of thanks with beans and franks
would still be just as great.
What makes Thanksgiving what I love
is more than what I ate.