A little package from his friends on the Hill

“Please sign here, Mr. President.
This package is for you.
It’s from your friends up on the Hill
who know you’re feeling blue.”

On this day for old Presidents,
our new one gets a gift.
A package with a pricey bow.
An economic lift.

This PRESENT’s aimed to stimulate
the FUTURE of our land.
What PAST the Senate and the House
is nothing less than grand.

“Or is it?” ask Republicans.
“How can it be so great?”
A grande drip from St. Arbucks
does more to stimulate.”

“Just give it time,” say Democrats.
“It’s more like Mountain Dew.”
What we have sent the President
will make bull markets moo.”

What can we learn from Michael Phelps stroke of stupidity?;
Dear God, A-Rod:
What Was She Thinking?

Breathing Lessons
What can we learn from Michael Phelps stroke of stupidity?

You take like a fish to water.
But when comes to grass,
you take a hit like an undisciplined animal.

Like it or not, you’re a role model, Mike.
What were you thinking?
In terms of drinking, drugs or casual sex,
how a sports hero behaves effects
what your young fans crave.

Your gold medals may not be tarnished,
but your golden-boy reputation has been.

Are you a has-been?
That has been a water-cooler conversation of late.

Did you feel the need to keep up with the Joneses?
Did Marion’s misstep cause you to stumble?
Or was it just freestyle stupidity?
 

Dear God, A-Rod
Talking turkey with Alex RodriguezDear God, A-Rod,what did it take so longto swallow pride and say you liedadmitting you’d done wrong? Dear God, A-Rod,why did you have to cheat?You had it made each time you played.We cheered you from our feet. Dear God, A-Rod,you didn’t need to use.You were a star just as you arewith not a thing to lose. Dear God, A-Rod,how could you let them down?Your young fans ache to know you’re fake.They’ll never trust you now.
What Was She Thinking?
Questioning a single mother’s sanity

She’s a single mom with six small kids
and now she has eight more.
What was she thinking? Well, that’s the thing.
She wasn’t. Oh, my Lord.

And what about the doctors?
Seems they like playing God.
Why fertilize and plant eight eggs?
Unthinkable. Most odd.

A human life’s not Build-a-Bear
at some suburban mall.
Each needs a dad’s and mother’s love.
They’re more than Barbie dolls.

A comeback story of Super Bowl proportions;
Lunacy in the Land of Lincoln

It’s a Warner-ful Life
A comeback story of Super Bowl proportions

Like George Bailey of Bedford Falls
who knew the sting of dreams that stalled,
Kurt Warner couldn’t understand
why hopes were put on hold.

A gifted college quarterback,
he had “the stuff” and was on track
to make the pros and make a name.
But Kurt was sadly cut.

First by The Pack and then Da Bears.
Rejection? Yes, more than his share.
But, Kurt refused to just give up.
In hardship, faith was born.

And while it’s true he found the Lord,
he also found three to adore.
A single mom with two small kids
who’d been to Hell and back.

When Brenda nabbed her shining knight,
Kurt turned her topsy world upright.
Brain injury, heartache and death
gave way to hope and life.

And Brenda helped her knight hold on
to dreams he thought were dead and gone.
What Mary Bailey gave to George,
Kurt got from his best fan.

And just like in that Capra script
where George at last made sense of it,
Kurt Warner’s dreams in time came true
within the NFL.

So as the Cards clash with the Steel,
who wins is not that big of deal.
What matters even more to me
is that Kurt’s there to play.
 

Lunacy in the Land of Lincoln
Hot Rod left the race track of reason

Honest Abe can’t rest in peace.
He’s turning in his grave
and all because Blagojevich
is one deceptive knave.

The governor’s a maniac.
Rich Daley thinks he’s nuts.
He hears “impeach” and thinks it’s fruit.
And now this Serb’s in Dutch.

Hot Rod with his cold steely eyes
is demolition bound.
He’s won the derby of deceit.
His trophy? Cuffed and bound.

He lost his job and faces trial
in weeks and months to come.
He’s bound to be convicted
in the first degree as dumb.

The Land of Lincoln has been raped
by Blago-types too long.
It’s high time these low-lifers pay
for all they’ve done that’s wrong.

Pondering the Chief Justice’s uncharacteristic gaff;
The Plane Truth About Being Prepared

A Violation of Roberts’ Rules of Order
Pondering the Chief Justice’s uncharacteristic gaff

His hand on Lincoln’s Bible
and a smile on his face
that became a look of terror
as Barack (to his disgrace)

flubbed the oath of his new office.
Oh, how awkward. How insane!
Why did black-robed judge John Roberts
try it note-less? How inane!

That embarrassing long silence
that supreme and pregnant pause
was the fault of our chief justice
who interprets all our laws.

As a rule our high court’s leader
is prepared and in control.
He has rules by which he lives by.
Prepped and ready. That’s his goal.

Roberts’ rules dictate strict order.
He’s a stickler for exact.
So then why this Big Day blunder?
Did the huge crowd make him crack?

Swearing solemnly’s expected
of the one who takes an oath.
Still I’m guessing he who gave it
also swore (but like an oaf).

How he wished for a do-over.
One more chance to get it right.
And most graciously Obama
let him do that Wednesday night.

 
The Plane Truth About Being Prepared
A lesson we can all retrieve from that Hudson River miracle

What happened in the Hudson River
was enough to make us shiver.
A plane went down, but all survived.
It was a miracle!

And while it really sounds absurd,
the engines ate a flock of birds.
That rendered both the jet and geese
incapable to fly.

The pilot had no time to think
before he ditched into the drink.
When danger struck he simply did
what he’d been taught to do.

Averting a sure tragedy
was hardly luck, it seems to me.
God used a skilled and well-trained man
to rob the jaws of death.

So too, with us, when we’re surprised
by crises right before our eyes.
Since there’s no time to make a plan,
we’d better plan ahead.