A pastor-father’s advice to the bride and groom
Allison Joy, Timothy John,
what is for keeps is grounded on
a love that is not feeling-based
but chosen every day.
It is a love that turns blind eyes
to words or actions that aren’t wise
and gives the benefit of doubt
by focusing on grace.
It is a love that won’t keep score
and like you learned in Ecuador*
to get along requires work
and giving-in pays off.
Just like a glass of well-aged wine
whose taste betrays a length of time,
the love you two together toast
won’t happen overnight.
It can’t be hurried. Years must pass
to make the kind of love that lasts.
The crush of romance will mature
as passion yields to choice.
Much like you choose a cabernet
(in spite of what your feelings say),
just act on what you know is true
for feelings often lie.
The richness of a fine merlot
is guaranteed to freely flow
as you uncork God’s promises
and heed what He has said.
So as you, Tim, assume your role,
make Christ-like love your daily goal
by giving up what you deserve
and laying down your life.
Take up your cross and die each day
without insisting on your way.
For that’s how Jesus loved His bride
and then said “Follow me!”
And, Allison, that’s why you can
become submissive to your man
convinced he’s putting your needs first
as servant-leaders do.
And use the gifts God’s given you,
for Tim depends on what you do
to keep your home and finances
well-run and organized.
If both of you are giving in
to serve each other you will win
the game of love (agape style).
And it’s more than a game.
Tim and Al, for love to last
remember this… what’s past is past.
Don’t pick at scabs from yesterday.
Forgive and then let go.
Keep short accounts. Let anger out.
Don’t bury it, withdraw and pout.
Work through what’s come between you two
before you drift to sleep.
And when you wake to face the day
consult His Word, take time to pray.
And give Him all your hopes and fears
as you face what’s to come.
A marriage. That’s what on its way.
A marriage follows wedding day.
A lifetime to live out your vows
relying on the Lord.
So as you promise to be true
having confidently said, “I do,”
be sure that we who love you guys
will hold you to your words.
* Tim and Allison met in Ecuador at Covenant Bible College seven years ago. That common experience factored significantly in their eventual courtship.
** I had the priivilege of officiating my middle daughter’s wedding on July 24, 2011 and gave these words of advice to Allison Joy Asimakoupoulos and Timothy John Anderson.