The Purpose-Driven Pastor Grills the Candidates

Rick Warren’s burger-bash at Saddleback;
Michael, Row Your Boat Back Home

The Purpose-Driven Pastor Grills the Candidates
Rick Warren’s burger-bash at Saddleback

Those purpose-driven interviews
should help the ones who saw them choose
between Barack and John McCain.
That was the purpose, right?

Rick Warren’s brainstorm brought relief
from red-hot coals and little beef.
The burger-bash at Saddleback
proved rare yet was well-done.

Obama feels quite at home in church.
At least in Rev. Wright’s old perch.
But Warren’s pulpit boasts a book
Barack explains away.

Still, don’t think old man John a saint.
He’s covered up his past with paint.
And yet in spite of moral flaws
he knows amazing grace.

Michael, Row Your Boat Back Home
The new unofficial Olympic theme song

Michael, row your boat back home
cross the ocean.
Better yet, just swim to shore
in one motion.

You have done your nation proud
with eight medals.
Hope the fervor of your feats
never settles.

You’re the greatest athlete
in a Speedo.
With a wingspan that’s as wide
as an eagle’s.

What you touch just turns to gold
like King Midas.
Could you coach us to invest?
Would you guide us?

Ben Bernanke and the Feds
need your wisdom.
At the price of gold today
we could use some.

(tune: Michael, Row Your Boat Ashore)