The irony of American Idol’s popularity

Does America have idols?
Are you kidding? Where’ve you been?
We’ve a pantheon of talent
and their worship isn’t sin.

It’s amazing. It’s GIGANTIC!
It’s a treasure trove for Fox.
Every week the Idol faithful
watch the judges deem who rocks.

This phenom is nothing novel.
Some remember Major Bose.
Ted Mack also launched the gifted.
Ed McMahon had talent shows.

But there’s something here that’s different.
Stardom’s search is fever hot.
With a phone call we determine
whose a star and who is not.

Sure is fun to have the power
to decide which idol wins.
It’s the feeling of importance
that’s due each American.

Still, I’m feeling somewhat jaded.
For when all is said and done,
when it’s candidates (not idols)
too few vote or know who won.

Why St. Valentine must make way for St. Arbucks

St. Arbucks is my patron saint.
I call on him each day
to help me stay alert to life
as I go on my way.

Unlike St. Jude or Christopher,
St. Arbucks slakes my thirst.
His cup of warm is Heaven-like
when I feel at my worst.

St. Arbucks watches over me
with tender loving care.
And whether near or far from home,
I find he’s always there.

His omnipresence comforts me
when I am feeling faint.
That’s why St. Arbucks owns my praise.
He is my favorite saint.

Commitment is the key to keeping love alive;
Astronomical Obsession

According to a guy named Gump,
no matter if you’re thin or plump,
your life is like boxed choc-o-late.
It’s a mystery.

You never know just what you’ll get
until you sink your teeth in it.
And if you like what you bit off,
it is ecstasy.

But if you get the kind you hate
and never chalk it up to fate,
you spit it out and choose one more.
“It’s my box!” you say.

But lasting love is not so picky
when what seemed sweet becomes quite icky.
You chew your choice and swallow pride.
It’s what you vowed you’d do.

It’s what commitment’s all about
so those in love need never doubt
the words once whispered long ago
with a heart in hand.
 

Astronomical Obsession

The gravity of reason
she defied at record speed
as she shuttled to Orlando in a car.
Wearing diapers (but no space suit),
Lisa Nowak sped from west to east.
Once a hero, she is now a fallen star.

Scrubbed by conscience, she persisted
on a mission fueled by rage
boosted with a rocket of pure jealousy.
With her pepper spray and bee-bees
she was armed to kill her threat.
Astronomical obsession, don’t you see?

Seems to me, lust is a current
that short-circuits how we think.
It can cause a brilliant mind to go berserk.
When you give your passions freedom
and just fixate on your wants,
you could likely lose your job and friends at work.

A conversation about Bluetooth Technology

What’s that odd thing? IT’S A BLUE TOOTH.
But it’s on that person’s ear.
YES, I KNOW. So, what’s that fang for?
IT IS THERE SO HE CAN HEAR.

So he’s deaf-ish? NO, NOT REALLY.
Then it’s not a hearing aid?
WELL, YOU USE IT WITH A CELL PHONE.
Are you kidding? Holy jade!

IT’S DESIGNED FOR WHEN YOU’RE DRIVING.
YOU CAN HEAR WHO’S ON THE LINE.
That’s amazing. How creative.
DON’T YOU LIKE ITS TRIM DESIGN?

Yes, I do. But why a Bluetooth?
Who decided on the name?
Mr. Blue and Mr. Toothy?
CUT IT OUT. THAT’S REALLY LAME.

HEY! YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS.
SIMPLY BUY ONE. SAKES ALIVE!
IF YOU DON’T, YOU’RE DOWNRIGHT RECKLESS.
YOU NEED BOTH HANDS WHEN YOU DRIVE.